penguinsloveric

Messages from Patrick and Kamille that I didn't want to erase but now have to:

Kam

A: Salamat Kam *hug* Kung may ibang game, sabihan kita.
B: Oks lang. Binalak ko naman talagang pumunta bukas eh. Hope you'll have fun tomorrow.
A: Salamat. Kam...gs2 q lng malaman mu n may tiwala aqng sasabihan nyu aq kung nkakahaggard n q or kung d sapat efforts q. Wla lang.
B: Ahh.. Don't worry. You're actually hardworking. Malaki ang contribution mo sa pag-usad ng TDO this sem.

Phat

A: Phatrick, pinagdebtaihan q pa talga sa sarili ko kung pano ko to sasabihin. Nakakain na q pero humaba pa rin txt ko. Sbi ko, may mga pangarap ka. Gusto kong maabot mo sila, anuman sila. Marami ang hiningi't kinuha ko mula sa yo kanina gayong pagod ka na at wala namang kailangang ibigay. Salamat sa pagpulot sa akin.
B:

B: Opo sir, kumain na ako. Ikaw ba ay allergic sa kahit anong pagkain? Pinapatanong ng nanay ko.

EverybodyTXT20
20 bucks... 10 texts to other networks, 100 texts Globe to Globe and TM
text ETXT 20 to 2868

SuliTXT15
15 bucks... 100 texts Globe to Globe and TM
text SULITXT 15 to 2868

UNLITXT all day 20 (for prepaid and postpaid)
20 bucks... unlimited texts Globe to Globe and TM
text UNLITXT20 to 2870

FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS

DUDES WHO ARE GOOD DANCERS, WITH SEXY SONGS SOMETIMES FOR UNUSUAL MARKETS IN OTHER LANGUAGES IN MANY GENRES.

HOLY. IT'S DHEW'S BIRTHDAY!? OMG FAN-SPONSORED OPPORTUNITIES TO SEE VARIOUS STATES OF DHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAS A PRETTY GOOD DAY. THE EUPHEMISM IDEA WAS A GOOD PLAN AND IT WORKED OUT BEAUTIFULLY, NOW S'JUST A MATTER OF MAKING IT FUCKING WORK. AND GOD, GOD IF IT WORKED. GOOD GOD IF IT WORKED.

EVERYTHING WAS PRETTY PEACHY (OR... PUNCHY? LOL VIOLENT PUPPET REFERENCE), FROM WITHDRAWING 650 FOR THE WALKING TOUR TO FINDING SOMEONE WITH WHOM I CAN GET THE MEDICAL CERTIFICATE. SHE WAS ALWAYS V. PRETTY TO ME. I WAS TOTALLY IN DENIAL.

SO. A SHIRT THE COLOR OF BLUE HIGHLIGHTER INK? REALLY? OH MAN. BROUGHT A SMILE TO MY UNFORTUNATE FACE, THAT. MAKES ME WONDER IF IT WAS ALSO HE WHO WAS WEARING THAT POOFY, WHITE CASANOVA SHIRT THAT ONE TIME AND NOT A GUEST HIPPY AS I HAD FIRST SPECULATED. DIRTY NUN JOKES!

ETA AM CONSIDERING MANFULLY FILTERING OUT BITS OF TOUR (ACTUALLY, I WAS LOOKING FOR A COPY OF THAT SPOILERY VIDEO WE WERE SUPPOSED TO SEE IN CLASS YESTERDAY) SO I COULD SHIFT MY NINJA FOCUS ON SEMI-USEFUL THINGS. HA-HA.

ALSO, PROFESSOR CHINBEN SEE = I'VE NEVER CARED FOR THE VOICE OF RESEARCHERS IN THEIR DISCOURSE UNTIL I WONDERED LAST NIGHT IF ALL FIL-CHINESE ANTHROPOLOGISTS SOUND LIKE THAT.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT AUDIBLE VOICES WERE KINDA TABOO. LET'S SEE WHAT THE ACADEME (OR WHOEVER) WILL SAY ABOUT VOICES BY THE TIME I'M CLINGING DESPERATELY TO MY HISTORY AS ONE WHO WAS ONCE IN TOUCH WITH THE DISCOURSE.

I WAS GOING TO SPEND MY NIGHT GEEKING OUT ON ANTHROPOLOGY OR READING SOMETHING ON WIKILEAKS. BUT I SAW THIS ENTRY AND I KIND OF DIDN'T GET THE DISCUSSION THAT WENT ON AFTERWARD SO I SPENT MY ENERGY READING THROUGH THE FIRST THREE SECTIONS OF THE UNABOMBER MANIFESTO AND FINDING OUT WHO THE UNABOMBER IS. AND I HAVE TO SAY THAT I KIND OF GOT OVERWHELMED.

IT'S A BIT LIKE BENOIT AGAIN, EXCEPT THIS TIME I WAS IMMEDIATELY REVILED BY THE SLIGHTEST INKLING IN MY HEAD THAT SAYS "NO MAN, HEAR THIS GUY OUT." I MEAN, JESUS. REALLY?

IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY, IMAGINING THAT I MIGHT WANT TO ADMIRE HIM AS A FANTASTIC MATHEMATICIAN OR EVEN THAT I MIGHT NOT WANT TO IMMEDIATELY DISMISS HIM KNOWING THAT A.) HE'S THE FUCKIN' UNABOMBER AND B.) SERIOUSLY, HIS ANALYSIS OF LEFTISTS (OKAY SO HE MEANT SOME LEFTISTS AND WTF AM I SAYING AOIFSH HDIKVMD14-). I AM HAVING A HARD TIME TRYING TO EXPLAIN MY BLOWN OVER THOUGHT PROCESS AT THE MOMENT; NOTHING COMPUTES. THAT FUCKING TED FELLOW.

SO YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS ENTRY IS NOT AN ANALYSIS OF MY FEELINGS AT PRESENT, BECAUSE I SUCK AT THAT ANYWAY. NOW I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE TO HOPE THAT WHEN I SEE THIS ENTRY AGAIN, I WILL STILL BE ABLE TO CONNECT WITH THE ME WHO WROTE THIS ENTRY.

CONSOLING MYSELF WITH THE HAPPIEST SECURITY BLANKET I HAVE AT THE MOMENT, JOHN BARROWMAN. NO WAIT, REALLY? HIM?

BUT AT LEAST I FIGURED OUT WHAT THE HELL EVERYBODY WAS TALKING ABOUT. JESUS. YOU'D THINK ANTHROPOLOGISTS ON THE INTERNET WOULD KNOW THAT NOT EVERYBODY WOULD FUCKING GET IT IF YOU CALLED EUROPEANS HISTORICALLY "DYNAMIC." I MEAN, FUCK ME.

===

EXCEPT THAT A BIT OF THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE. THE TOILING, IMPOTENT, NEVER TO BE ADEQUATELY ARTICULATED FURY AFTER HAVING READ SOMETHING SO SPECTACULARLY STUPID THAT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S COMPLETELY WRONG. I THINK INTELLECTUALLY, I AM INTO CONCESSION. LIKE "SURPRISE! YOU AREN'T A COMPLETE IDIOT!" IS THE BEST WAY TO EVER PREFACE AN ARGUMENT.

AND OBVIOUSLY, WITH MY NEUROSES (AND MY ITCHY ITCHY LEGS GODDAMNIT), I WILL WANT TO FIGURE THIS OUT, FIND A WAY TO ELIMINATE "WEAK" BEHAVIOR.

WTF I SOUND LIKE HIM.

===

OR LIKE YORRICK BROWN, REALLY.

MAYBE I AM ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY OR OTHER EMOTION BECAUSE I CANNOT GET HOW SOMEBODY WHOM I WOULD BE INCLINED TO ADMIRE AUTOMATICALLY (MATH! IT'S MATH! OK, SORRY CREATIVITY MOVEMENT) COULD BE SO WRONG, AND I CANNOT BELIEVE MYSELF AND AM UNNERVED BY HOW I COULD THINK THIS PERSON COULD BE WRONG. BLAH BLAH THE REST OF THE ANALYSIS IS PAR FOR THE COURSE.

OMG, THANK YOU BRITNEY SPEARS, FOR GIVING ME A WINDOW OF CLARITY. UNLESS YOU DESTROY MY COUNTRY/FAMILY/ETC. I WILL NEVER HATE YOU. AND I WAS REALLY HATING ON ASHLEE SIMPSON BUT I GUESS READING THE UNABOMBER MANIFESTO MADE ME LIGHTEN UP. NOW SHE ONLY CAUSES MILD DISCOMFORT IN MY BRAIN.

SIR KEN ROBINSON ON CREATIVITY AND EDUCATION AND I HEARD OF THIS FROM DAVID HEWLETT! OMG FROM ONE AWESOME THING TO ANOTHER. I FEEL A BIT LIKE MRS. MORSE BECAUSE THINGS ALONG THIS LINE GET ME EXCITED ALL OF A SUDDEN. LIKE READING Y!THE LAST MAN OR OR PERSEPOLIS OR SOMETHING. I HAVE TO SIT DOWN AND LISTEN TO ONE OF MY "CLOSING CREDITS" SONGS.

THERE MUST BE A LINK TO THIS HERE. THE LAST ONE WAS FUNNIER, SO I GUESS I LIKE THAT ONE BETTER. NOT THAT RIC IS JUST FUNNY, THOUGH HE SURE IS. HERE HE IS, WITH A VOICE THAT KIND OF WENT STRAIGHT TO MY MIND(READ: "MY WHOLE BODY IS ABOUT TO THINK.").

LIKE BOTCHAMANIA EXCEPT IT INVOLES TELEVISION NEWS REPORTERS.

TONGUE! IS JUST SUCH A WEIRD WORD. EVERYTIME I HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN, I STUMBLE. I ABSOLUTELY WANTED TO MAKE OUT WITH THESE PEOPLE. OR YOU KNOW, DO WHAT THEY DO. THE TONGUE PEOPLE, NOT THE ELBOW PEOPLE. OR THE OTHER PEOPLE FOR THAT MATTER BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I COULD RAISE ONE EYEBROW. EASY PEASY. NICE AND EASY. LIGHT AND BREEZY.

ETA OMG I FORGOT WHY I EVEN CAME ON HERE. OR PARTIALLY BECAUSE I TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY MEANT TO POST THESE LINKS (AND AM NOW HUNTING FOR THE URBAN AETA VIDEO). THIS IS TO SAY (IE)

IS DIPLOMACY ALWAYS THIS AWKWARD? DO YOU REALLY ALWAYS GET TO FEEL LIKE YOU ARE BEING BULLSHITTED? BECAUSE THIS SPEECH ISN'T THE MOST HORRIBLE THING EVER. IT ISN'T OFFENSIVE, INAPPROPRIATE OR MAKING PGMA APPEAR LIKE SHE IS OCCUPYING A DREAM-LIKE VERSION OF REALITY. BUT IT'S SO... NO, I AM NOT GRIPING ABOUT "JESUS, JUST CALL BEYER AN ANTHROPOLOGIST ALREADY!" BECAUSE I CAN LIVE WITH THAT, NO PROBLEM. BUT JUST. I WONDER IF IT'S JUST BECAUSE IT'S PGMA SPEAKING OR IT'S PGMA SPEAKING ABOUT CULTURE OR PGMA SPEAKING ABOUT CULTURE TO CHINESE BUSINESSMEN OR IT'S ME.

I MEAN, WHATEVS. MY MOST RECENT BRUSHES WITH DIPLOMACY INVOLVE BULLYING MY SIBLINGS INTO SUBMISSION AND WATCHING THE PEOPLE OF SGA KIND OF MAKE A HASH OUT OF THE ORDER OF THE PEGASUS GALAXY.

BTW, WHAT DO THE PEOPLE OF STARGATE HAVE TO SAY ABOUT EVOLUTION?

I THINK IT'S CLEAR NAMAN NO.

NA KUNG NAGDRADRAMA-DRAMAHAN AKO, KUNG MALUNGKOT BA MAGALIT O MALIBOG... ENGLISH YAN. PERO PAG MASAKIT NA KATAWAN KO. AH. YAN ANG TINATATAGALOG. WALA NANG TANONG-TANONG O PAGKAPA PARA SA ANGKOP NA TERMINO. DIREDIREDIRETSO LANG PARANG ILOG NA DIRETSO LANG.

KUNG MAY RECORDER LANG. NAKU, ANG BANGIS TALAGA NG TINATAE NG UTAK KO KANINA, PARANG LYRICS SA KANTANG MALUPIT, YUNG TYPE KO NUNG HIGH SCHOOL AKO. GALING YUN EH, MAY PA-BAGA BAGA PA YANG NALALAMAN. TAPOS PURO MURA. NAKU. TSAKA 'NAKU'. YAN YUNG MGA TYPE KO NUNG HIGH SCHOOL EH. MM. TUNAY.

GANTO SANA SASABIHIN KO:

I enjoyed Elevate 8 2008 because it combined two things I seem to have a thing for at the moment: bad jokes and dancing/dancers. Also it had an awesome light show-like segment. Also there was A REALLY AWESOME DANCE NUMBER SET TO 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' WHICH I LOVE.

PERO ITO NA LANG SINABI KO:

E DI... MACOCK!

BE A GOOD BOY WHILE I WATCH THE SHIPS

OH HEY HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I FOUND OUT? I DIDN'T HAVE TO BE EMOTION-FREE ABOUT PONY. TURNS OUT IT'S PART OF BEING THE KIND OF ANTHROPOLOGIST WE HOLD OUT FOR TODAY. FOR NOW I COULD SAY I ABSOLUTELY ADORE MY PROFESSORS. THEY INTIMIDATE THE FLYING JESUS OUT OF ME, BUT I'M THE MIKO TO THEIR MCKAY EXCEPT THEY'RE NICE AND FOR CHRISSAKES THEY'RE SOCIAL SCIENTISTS.

I LIKE SGA. OR I LIKE WHAT HAS BEEN MADE OUT OF SGA AND I LOVE MCKAY. IT'S LIKE HSM; I LIKED WHAT HAD BEEN MADE OUT OF HSM, AND I LOVED RYAN. IT'S ALL CONSTRUCTION OF MEANING ACTUALLY. AND WHEREAS ONCE, WHEN IT FELT LIKE THINGS WERE JUST FALLING NEATLY INTO MY LIFE I FELT GOOD, SMART AND AT ONE WITH THE WORLD (THAT SAME FEELING I CAME TO KNOW WHEN I GAVE MATHEMATICS THE TIME OF DAY IT SOOO DESERVED) TO-DAY I FEEL LIKE I'M ON SOMETHING LIKE THE TRUMAN SHOW. A MORE SOPHISTICATED VARIETY NO DOUBT. I MEAN, CLEARLY, THE TRUMAN SHOW VERSE WOULD'VE SUCCEEDED WITH A BIT MORE IRONY IN IT.

SO SGA. I LIKE IT SO MUCH I WANT TO SHARE SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF OUTER SPACE EXCEPT I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT NOT TOO MUCH ABOUT ME. I LIKE IT SO MUCH THE WAY I LOOKED AT ANTHROPOLOGY WAS SHAKEN. I LIKE IT SO MUCH I FELT GUILTY ABOUT REMEMBERING HOW FASCINATING SCIENCE IS OR HOW MUCH I LIKE MATH.

I HAVE GOT TO STOP ASKING PEOPLE FOR FAVORS SINCE I AM ULTIMATELY THE SOURCE OF THEIR FUNDS AND I DON'T WANT TO STOKE THEIR FIRES BY GIVING THEM INCENTIVE IN THE FORM OF MY PERSONAL NEED. SNIFF SNIFF. HE JUST GAVE ME A PACKET OF SWISS MISS. BLESS HIS SOUL.

OTHER SUMMARY OF FEELINGS SINCE CLEARLY JOSE RIZAL RECORDED HIS BREAKFAST FOR POSTERITY: I SPENT MOST OF MY PAST FEW WEEKS BEMOANING THE STUPID OF ALL. SPECIFICALLY THE INABILITY TO PERCIEVE BOUNDARIES. AND HOW THEY ULTIMATELY ONLY SERVE TO MUDDLE MY PERCEPTION. ALSO HOW MUCH I LOVE BEING WITH RACHEL.

MMMMMWATCHA SAY...

CREEPING SUSPICION: HALF OF THE THINGS I HAVE BEEN DOING UP TO THIS POINT HAVE BEEN FOR THE STORIES. MOST IMPORTANTLY, I'M IN ANTHROPOLOGY FOR THE STORIES. STORIES ARE SPIRITUAL CURRENCY. I HAVEN'T TOLD THAT TO MYSELF IN A PRETTY LONG TIME BUT I BELIEVE IT.

SO IDEAS:

1. INFINITE MAN REDUX: SHRINKING PEOPLE AS A RESPONSE TO ECOCIDE. USE RELATIVITY. ON A SIDE NOTE, I TOTALLY WANT TO READ MORE ABOUT RELATIVITY. SPECIFICALLY, I WANT TO READ THE EINSTEIN BOOK FROM THE DEAD FAMOUS SERIES. AND THAT OTHER BOOK IN THE CS LIB. AND THE KIDS VERSION OF STEPHEN HAWKINGS STUFF. WHAT?

2. FOOD TEXTURE. AS IN ASK PEOPLE ABOUT WHAT THEY LOVE SPECIFICALLY ABOUT KRISPY KREME DONUTS. ALSO IF KRISPY KREME DONUTS ARE BIG IN HONG KONG.

3. OMG PONY THE PROSTITUTE ORANGUTAN. SOMEBODY RAISED A PERFECTLY GOOD QUESTION ABOUT HER, AS IN, HOW IS REHAB GOING? I THINK PART OF WHAT MADE IT APPALLING FOR ME IS THINKING THAT PONY'S BEHAVIOR IS LEARNED BEHAVIOR. AND PART OF WHAT I HATED IS THAT I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. I WAS AN ANTHROPOLOGIST. I DIDN'T WANT TO BE DISGUSTED. SO I NEEDED OTHER PEOPLE TO BE DISGUSTED FOR ME.

I'M ACTUALLY DOWNLOADING TRACKS FROM SOMEBODY'S LIST OF ANGRY SONGS.

A DAY AGO I MET KOREAN!STEPHEN. OR STEPHEN IS AMERICAN!WOOJUNG  (SP?). HE SAID HE LIKED MY STYLE AND THAT I WAS LOVELY AND THAT IF NAUGHTY BOYS EVER BOTHER ME I SHOULD NEVER HESITATE TO SAY "NO, STOP I'M GORGEOUS." I NEED TO BE TOLD I'M BEAUTIFUL. I'VE NEEDED TO FOR A LONG TIME. I HAVEN'T BEEN TOLD ABOUT WHAT A BRIGHT, POSITIVE FACE I HAVE IN A LONG TIME; THE LAST PERSON WHO TOLD ME WAS MY MOTHER, MISSING YOUNG ME WHOSE FACE WAS BRIGHT AND POSITIVE. HE WAS A FRIENDLY, TRANSPARENT MAN WHO, ACCORDING TO HIS WORDS, WAS WEAK. ONE OF HIS SONS IS A DRUMMER IN A BAND AND ANOTHER IS STUDYING TO BE A LAWYER. I WOULD'VE LOVED TO BE THERE WHEN HIS SON PERFORMED, BUT I WOULD'VE HATED TO BE TALKED ABOUT GLOWINGLY TO HIS SON. SPEAKING OF, HE RECOGNIZED ME AS "THE CLEVER ONE" MY MOTHER TOLD HIM ABOUT. HE THOUGHT I LOOKED TWELVE. I'M SORRY I FORGOT TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIM.

RE: MY SRI LANKAN EXTENDED FAMILY:
I ONLY EVER KISS FAMILY. AND RACHEL.

===

THEN LAST NIGHT I ARRIVED IN HONG KONG AFTER WATCHING HOODWINKED AND CRYING AND OVERHEARING MY DAD CRY THEN GO BACK TO NORMAL TO CONDUCT FATHERLY BUSINESS AND SLEEPING NEXT TO MY MOM. I ARRIVED IN HONG KONG AND FOUND OUT MY FLIGHT WAS GONE. THIS WAS AFTER MY ASS HURT IN A PLANE AND I HATED THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO ME. THEY GAVE ME A PLACE TO STAY AND DIRECTIONS. I SPENT THE NEXT SEVERAL MINUTES TRYING TO LOOK LOST, CONVEYING A SENSE OF "LOST."

I COMFORTED MYSELF BY SAYING "I AM ALONE, AFRAID AND LOST WITH NO WAY TO CALL HOME." I WAS WORRIED ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO WERE GOING TO WAIT FOR ME AT THE AIRPORT, ACTUALLY. I PURCHASED SOME OF THEIR KRISPY KREME. IT WAS NOT AS GOOD.

EVENTUALLY I FOUND MY HOTEL, FOUND MY ROOM AND GOT TO CALL HOME. BEFORE THAT I WAS ABLE TO FIND IMMIGRATION, GET OUT AND GET MY MONEY CHANGED. IN BETWEEN THESE, I WALKED A LOT.

SO TECHNICALLY I POPPED MY SLEEPING ALONE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY CHERRY. IF I WERE TO EXTEND THE ANALOGY THOUGH, IT WAS LIKE RAPE. WHICH WAS ONE OF THE THINGS I THOUGHT ABOUT WHILE MY ASS HURT ON A PLANE TO HONG KONG WHICH ENDED UP DRIVING ME HYSTERICAL IF I WASN'T ABLE TO PULL MYSELF TOGETHER.

===

NOW I AM HOME, IT WAS EASY HASSLE-FREE AND I DID IT ALL WITHOUT SPECIAL ASSISTANCE. THE EXPERIENCE ENDED UP ULTIMATELY BEING EMASCULATING.

IT SUCKS TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU'RE BEING BULLSHITTED AT HOME. IT'S GOOD TO KNOW I WAS ABLE TO REALIZE SOMETHING WAS WRONG. I WASN'T ABLE TO STOP IT BUT I REFUSED TO ACCEPT IT WAS NORMAL OR THAT I WAS BEING TOO TIGHT.

NOW I'M IN AN AWKWARD POSITION. ON THE WAY HOME I THOUGHT ABOUT HOW I DIDN'T USE TO TRUST MY PARENTS AND IT WAS BECAUSE OF THE SHITTY THINGS HOUSE HELP GOT AWAY WITH OR DIDN'T GET AWAY WITH. I THINK I WAS THINKING ABOUT ME BEING A PARENT. I KNEW KIDS WERE BOUND TO "TAKE CARE" OF HOUSE HELP. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WAS THAT HOUSE HELP WASN'T FAMILY.

WELL NOW I'M WORKING WITH FAMILY. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY NO?

===

AND OK, I AM TOTALLY PROJECTING SINCE I KNOW THIS IS SOMEBODY'S FANVID FOR RYAN, NOT OFFICIALLY RYAN. BUT I NOW FEEL AKIN TO HIM BECAUSE I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO BARENAKED LADIES' FALLING FOR THE FIRST TIME. BECAUSE I LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER ON MY MOTHER'S SIDE NOW. THEY'RE ALL SIMILARLY TIRESOME, BUT I WANT TO THANK HER.

===

MY GRADES WERE ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD. I'M DETERMINED TO LOOK GOOD AS I AM. LOOKS LIKE I'LL GET BRACES. I LOVE MY DOG.

AND I MISS RIC FLAIR. I REALLY DO. BUT I KNOW BETTER. I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE HIM. AT LEAST, I DON'T WANT HIS STYLE OF POLITICS. I WANT TO BE A BIT MORE LIKE AUSTIN NOW. AND SHIKAMARU.

WTF.

A YEAR AGO

I WAS HEAVIER AND LESS FIT

I WOULD HAVE BALKED AT THE IDEA OF ME EVER LIKING HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL IN ANY WAY OTHER THAN AS A SENTIMENTAL CULTURAL ARTIFACT

I WOULD HAVE BALKED AT THE IDEA THAT I WAS GIVING UP ON ANTHROPOLOGY

I WOULD HAVE BALKED AT THE IDEA THAT CAPITALISM IS BAD

I WAS MORE ARROGANT AND INCOMPETENT THAN I CURRENTLY AM BUT ALSO MORE CONSCIENTIOUS ABOUT MY STUDIES

I WOULD'VE SAID BUDGETING AND BEING AWAY FROM HALF OF MY FAMILY TO KIND OF FINANCE FOR ANOTHER WAS EASY

I WOULD'VE SAID I WANTED A BIG DOG

--------

A YEAR AGO I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO IMAGINE WHAT 'E WOULD LOOK LIKE IN A BRAND NEW ERA. OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD RIGHT NOW I'M CALLING ENTIRE CHAMPIONSHIP REIGNS (OR SERIES THEREOF) ERAS. IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE THERE WAS ANYBODY WHO COULD STEP UP AND HERALD IN A NEW ERA. THERE WAS KENNEDY AT ONE TIME BUT I CAN'T HEAR HIM RIGHT NOW. THERE'S PUNK, BUT PUNK'S COMPETITION KIND OF SUCKS RIGHT NOW, AND I'M NOT SO SURE THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE HIM STEP ALL THE WAY UP. THAT'D BE PLEASANT THOUGH. BUT NOW, WITH A LOT OF NAMES OFF AND A LOT OF PEOPLE GONE AND THE SHOW A COMPLETE MESS, I'M EXCITED AT THE IDEA OF HART FOUNDATION 2.0 (PARTLY BECAUSE I HAVE A CRUSH ON NATTIE NEIDHART.) AND Y2J COMING BACK TOO. BUT MOST OF ALL, I AM EXCITED ABOUT

VAL VENIS, WWE CHAMPION.

OKAY. I THINK EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS SO I'M JUST BEING REDUNDANT BUT I DON'T CARE. I WANTED TO SAY THIS SO BADLY I COULD NOT SHIT.

PEOPLE ASIA (SPECIFICALLY THE FEB 2007 ISSUE BUT I WON'T PUT IT PAST THE MAGAZINE TO HAVE BEEN THAT WAY SINCE EVER AND TO BE THAT WAY FOREVER) IS MADE OF STUPID. JUST SO MUCH FUCKING STUPID. IF THEY EVER WRITE LIKE I WRITE, THEY WOULD END UP LOOKING SMARTER. THEY ARE THAT STUPID.

OKAY I HAVE CALMED DOWN. WHAT THE JESUS DID I EXPECT ANYWAY? IT'S A MAGAZINE FOR PEOPLE WHO THINK HAVING READ BOOKS LIKE THOSE BY NABOKOV AND GARCIA-MARQUEZ MAKES YOU SMART. IT'S A MAGAZINE FOR PEOPLE WHO THINK GIVING MONEY TO CHARITIES MEANS HAVING CONTRIBUTED TO IMPROVING THE LIVES OF ONE'S FELLOWMEN. IT'S FOR PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY KNOW WHAT IT MEANS WHEN THEY SAY A WAY OF THINKING IS BACKWARDS. WHATEVER PEOPLE MAGAZINE.

GOD MAGDUDUPHALAC NA TALAGA AKO. BANAS NA BANAS NA AKO (SO ANGRY.) BURAT NA BURAT (SO DICK.)

I AM GOING THROUGH MARTHA NUSSBAUM'S PAPER ON DISGUST SO I COULD GET A SENSE OF HOW OUR SENSES COULD POSSIBLY SHAPE OUR SOCIETY. AS IN NOT SOMETHING INCIDENTAL LIKE 'I SEE YOU, I SHOOT YOU.'

ANYWAY, WE HAD TO WRITE ABOUT IT FOR OUR PHILO 1 FINALS AND I REMEMBER WRITING THE WHOLE THING ON MY BIRTHDAY IN THE MORNING AND PASSING IT IN THAT AFTERNOON. IT STARTED OUT WITH A REFERENCE TO RIC FLAIR. I DID KIND OF MAKE SENSE, BUT I WONDER IF I NOTED THE DIFFERENCE IN CONTEXT. STILL I HAVE NO DOUBT I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY COOL TO MIX IN SOME WRESTLING WITH PHILOSOPHY. I THINK SIR SANTAMARIA IS RIGHT. WE FILIPINOS HAVE THIS PROCLIVITY TOWARDS FUSION WITHOUT ANY REAL UNDERSTANDING. I PROBABLY THOUGHT OF THAT TOO WHILE I WAS WRITING MY PAPER.

ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GOING TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS. THE THINGS I LEARNED FROM NOT HAVING ONE WITH RIC FLAIR. I SMELL SPIN-OFFS.

WOW MY DOG IS BARKING AT HIS REFLECTION. HE THINKS THE OTHER DOG HAS SOMETHING THAT BELONGS TO HIM. O THE AGGRESSION. HE WAS EVEN HUMPING HIS TOY LAST NIGHT.

UNPRODUCTIVITY YEY.

A CRAZY IDEA JUST OCCURED TO ME. MAYBE FLAIR'S WHOLE DEAL WITH THE QUITTING AND STUFF IS PART OF AN ELABORATE PLAN TO TURN HIM HEEL. THE WAY MOST WRESTLERS BECOME HEELS WON'T WORK: IF HE EVER CHEATED HIS WAY TO ANY WIN, THE AUDIENCE WOULD LOVE HIM FOR IT. BETRAYING ANYBODY IS DELICATE BUSINESS SINCE THERE'S ALWAYS THE RISK THAT THE AUDIENCE WON'T BUY ANY OF IT. AND HELL, EVEN IF HE DID, EVERYBODY'S TORN. FOR FLAIR VS. FOLEY, MOST PEOPLE GOT THE IDEA THAT FOLEY'S THE HEEL. BUT THEN, EXAMINING THE STORYLINE, ALTHOUGH FOLEY WAS THE ONE WHO RESORTED TO UNDERHANDED TACTICS, THE DRAMA HAD ENOUGH ROOM FOR TWO VILLAINS.

SO THEY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE RUMOR MILL. PLANT 'EM LIKE CRAZY.

OF COURSE THIS IS PARTIALLY A PROJECTION. I AM ASSUMING THAT THE NEWS ON HIM RIGHT NOW ONLY SERVES TO MAKE HIM MORE UNLIKEABLE.

ONE MINUTE MANAGER = CREEPY BUT KINDA INSPIRING. TOO BAD I GOT TOO BURNT OUT TO TIME MYSELF DOWN TO THE LAST MINUTE.

CHUKCHAK LAST NIGHT = AWESOME. JUST EGO-Y LIKE I'VE NEVER TRIED BEFORE.

GOD I AM JUST SO TIRED. AND I'M A SELL-OUT EVEN. I DON'T CARE IF IT'S PRACTICAL. I FEEL LIKE SHIT. AND I'VE LET GO OF THAT PROJECT. I WONDER IF I FAIL AT ETHNOGRAPHY SINCE I'M SO SHY.

OMG WHY AM I SUCH AN ASSHOLE TO MYSELF.

I... I LOVE ME. I'M THE ONE WHO LOOKS LIKE SHE COULD MAKE A LIVING OFF OF BEING ALIVE AND DRESSES LIKE SHE MAKES A LIVING OFF DRUGS. I... I'M SO INTELLIGENT NOBODY WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH ME. I HAVE A BIG HEART AND HEAVY HANDS AND A LOT OF GRACE FOR SOMEBODY MY WEIGHT.

WHY FAMILY IS BAD (THE SPEECH)

GOD. PREPARING A SANDWICH AND ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS WHAT A BUNCH OF MOTHERFUCKERS I LIVE WITH. MANIPULATIVE GRANDMOTHER WITH WHOM I HAVE FALLEN OUT OF FAVOR (NOT REGRETFULLY.) UNMANAGEABLE HOUSEHELP. RICH BROTHER. GOOD LORD I WOULD LEAVE WITH MY DOG IF I COULD.

WHY. WHY MICHAEL. LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE. IT'S SO




BLACK.

FUCK ME

I. EVENTUALLY. I JUST WANT TO GO TO BED. THE MAN I WANTED TO FUCK, WE AREN'T GOING TO ANYMORE.

II. PLEASE. I AM HORNY.

III. SPARE CHANGE ISN'T MY CONCERN. THAT'S WHAT MY TEACHER TOLD ME AND WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS A RACIST, I KNEW WHERE SHE STOOD IN MY MIND. AND FAT LORD WHY IS EVERYBODY MADE OF FAIL?

IV. ONE DAY I FELT READY TO WORK THEN FOR A DAY I DIDN'T WORK NOW I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT. INCOMPETENT GUY I AM. SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO TOMORROW PLEASE. IT MUST BE BECAUSE MY CHEMISTRY IS MADE OF FAIL, MY COMM3 IS MADE OF FAIL, AND MY BUDGET IS MADE OF FAIL.

V. I DID NOT BUY A COPY OF THAT MOVIE. I'LL TELL YOU WHY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT I FEEL 50PHP JUST TO SHOW OFF ISN'T WORTH IT. ESPECIALLY IF I CAN GET IT FREE ON THE INTERNET.

MY DOG. I GOT INTO WITHIN ONE SYLLABLE OF HIS NAME JUST BY LOOKING AT HIM.